Growing up, we’re constantly told that quitting is bad and that only losers and weak hearted souls quit. I completely disagree.

Life is about learning. Learning to live and learning to make good decisions. How do we learn to make good decisions? Usually by making bad ones. Thus, the need to quit. If you’re driving and you get lost and head down the wrong way, you don’t just decide to keep going because you don’t want to quit.  You stop and change course so that you can get to your destination.

Just a little over a year after the economy crumbled from its heights, the ripple effect and fall out is still being felt. However, for some people it's been an opportunity to reflect and ask questions that previously had been buried under the pressures of employment. Creativity, as well as forgotten dreams, have surfaced in the empty space of unemployment, and for some, it has meant becoming self-employed, perhaps for the first time in their lives.

Sometimes the best way to stand out from the crowd and get notcied is to be the one who notices what's missing. Or even better what need is not being met by anyone else. It is in this gap that many breakthroughs in business occur. Often it ends up being a personal need or problem we have that is unmet that drives us to imagine what life would be like if a solution existed.

I recently read that when Marlon Brando was asked why he didn’t memorize his lines, he replied, “Real people don’t know what they want to say.” I relate to this because when I teach or give a presentation, it flows much better and more authentically when I don’t prepare beforehand. I can reflect on what I might like to do and have a few triggers or props handy, but the REAL stuff emerges when I get out the way completely and just let what wants to come through flow unimpeded. Amazingly, I end up learning a hell of a lot as well…it’s as if I tap into an infinite, universal well of knowledge and I become a conduit for a greater source of knowledge than I would have if I’d spent time efforting at it through research, creating outlines, and writing copious notes.

Keeping our business and personal lives separate is a major issue for many business owners, especially home-based ones. Without clear, defined boundaries, each aspect can easily bleed into the other making both a muddy mess. In addition, there’s always a feeling of some distracting energy nearby pulling at our attention and reducing the intensity of focus necessary for important projects.

What does it take to get clear about any aspect of your life? Whether it’s your work, your relationships, your living situation or simply the way you spend your time, the process requires slowing down and listening and observing what’s working and what isn’t. But it also requires taking away the embellishments and fantasies we have around our situations so that we can actually see them as they are rather than as we want them to be.

In business and in life, playing it safe only takes us so far. The real rewards and return on our investment of time comes when we stretch our capacity and take a leap of faith. Real risk requires being okay with feeling uncomfortable. We’re deliberately stepping into the unknown and it is to be expected that we will react with fear. It’s the way we’re wired.

Living life on your terms takes courage, commitment and a willingness to honor the self at the hightest level. Learning to follow your heart and speak your truth goes against the grain of the way most of us have been raised. We were asked to betray ourselves and conform at a very early age. Fitting in became more important than trusting ourselves.

Phrases like “speak your truth” and stand in your power” are tossed around casually these days among people who have spent a significant time in the domain of personal growth. But what do they really mean? I see them both as indicators of an authentic life, which means, to quote Shakespeare “To thine own self be true”. To put it simply, to speak your truth and stand in your power means you are living a life that is primarily inner directed and follows the beat of your own heart rather than outer directed and focused on what other people think is best for you.

During the past two plus decades of working with people, I’ve discovered many things about human behavior, but one of the most striking is how often the most creative, intelligent people get in their own way. Across the board, I have seen artists, business owners, graduate students and high-powered career people sabotage their own best efforts. It is such a common occurrence that of late, I’ve become a bit obsessed with the whole topic of self-sabotaging patterns.