I feel myself being tested profoundly now. Each moment there is an opportunity to make the right or wrong choice for my soul’s evolution, not in a small-scale way, but in a big picture way. I recently realized that I have made a number of choices in my life that have seriously delayed and compromised what I came into this incarnation to do. As a result, the past 8 – 9 years has been a game of catch-up in which I’ve experienced an accelerated series of lessons and huge downloads of information. It’s almost as if once the universe realized I was finally ready to receive, the floodgates opened and it hasn’t stopped since.
Lately, I’ve been aligning with my life purpose far more than ever before in the area of running groups, working with people one-on-one and writing. Hooking people up to the Divine so that they can again hear or even strengthen their Inner Voice makes my heart sing. Heaven on earth comes from people opening and connecting with their Higher Selves and thus, recognizing that we all essentially want the same thing. This makes life a beautiful, joyful place to be.
I am noticing the more I embrace my own purpose and honor it with my attention, the more life responds by opening doors and sending people and resources my way. It’s as if life is saying “Yes!” to me. This transforms the ordinary, day-to-day drudgery into a magical playground. Life becomes more childlike. BUT let me say this: to get here takes guts and courage, trust and faith and a willingness to lay it all on the line. This is NOT about playing it safe or comfortable, but living on the thinnest branches and demonstrating to the universe that you are all in, willing to serve and be used as an instrument of the Divine. What’s really cool about that is that the very best thing you can do in life is to be yourself and nothing else. This is why we feel so bad and so lost when we opt for comfort and security, because we know we’re not only selling ourselves out, but we’re also selling out our Higher Purpose for being here. It’s as though we received these beautiful gifts, but instead of enjoying and sharing them, we buried them away in a closet or trunk under the bed and forgot about them. No matter what we do or how we search for other forms of pleasure and joy, we will never find it without those gifts.
We came here to give, not to take and consume. Our true nature is to share ourselves and receive others’ gifts as they, too, want to share. But that has been usurped by our industrial, money-focused society which has captured many people and turned them into cogs in the machine, producing products and goods, that we mostly don’t really need, cutting people off from their true source of joy.
Our time and our energy has been hijacked, so that we have nothing left to give and then feel cut off from ourselves and others, moving around on the corporate merry-go-round that never goes anywhere. This is why I feel unable to do anything other than what I do, no matter what the cost. I must do who I am! As long as friends and family members are stuck on this wheel, I feel driven to hold the space for their freedom. I have never felt comfortable on the merry-go-round myself, and my sons have inherited this from me or at least have me as a reference point that it’s possible to step off.
My game plan is living life on my terms full-out so that I can demonstrate that it can be done. I stripped away most of the comforts from my life so that I can essentially start from scratch with very few resources except those that I can carry with me. My expenses are down to the bare bones so that I can dedicate my life to this mission, as it is extremely important to show others that a life of freedom is possible without having a regular paycheck or trust fund.
Along with that, I want to go further and create the means for people to utilize their gifts so they can have a quicker path to freedom than I did. I'm cutting the path with a machete so that others don’t have to. I want to create communities all over the world that offer a lifestyle that utilizes people’s nature gifts, helps them heals their wounds, sustains them, supports them, connects them and fulfills them. I see it as an educational, live-work, community with cottage industries, creative studios, healing rooms, meeting rooms, gardens, a community kitchen, dining hall/lodge, living quarters, etc. Stay tuned for more on that in the coming months!
Almost three months on the road, and i'm learning the pros and cons of the choices I'm making and while I feel support, I'm also being challenged in unexpected ways. Some days flow effortlessly and my confidence is up, while other days, things feel blocked and doubt arises. I have to remind myself that all is as it should be and remember that the challenges are my teachers and they bear gifts of wisdom that I can then pass along. That thought brings me a bit of peace.