Living life on your terms takes courage, commitment and a willingness to honor the self at the highest level. Learning to follow your heart and speak your truth goes against the grain of the way most of us have been raised. We were asked to betray ourselves and conform at a very early age. Fitting in became more important than trusting ourselves.

Undoing this wounding can take years and requires nothing less than a full revolution against the status quo and listening to the Greek chorus in our lives. However, there is nothing more freeing and with freedom comes joy and rejuvenation. Instead of starving ourselves to please others, we begin to learn how to truly feed ourselves.

This is not about unbridled selfishness, but rather coming back into a place of balance. Many of us are more comfortable giving than receiving. Restoring reciprocity in our lives creates a circle of giving and receieving that feels authentic and natural and doesn't require self-sacrifice.

Imagine making an agreement with everyone in your life that each of you only says yes and gives when it feels natural and authentic. Imagine embracing honesty at a level in which speaking our truth is respected and well received by others. Imagine a world in which people didn't take things personally.

We imprison ourselves and each other with our demands and expectations. Our neediness with each other comes from a place of desperation. We falsely assume if others really loved us they would know what we needed and give it to us.

It is up to us to take care of ourselves. No one can do it for us. Giving comes easily to a well fed being. So does softness and an open heart.

Living life on our terms simply means to honor the self, listen to what it needs and follow that. Self-betrayal never works. It only leads to deep resentment and depression. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. Eventually, the body starts to reveal this inner turmoil with pain and disease. Better to stop right where you are and reverse this trend.

When we live life on our terms, it is so much easier to respect another who is doing the same. Why not let each other off the hook and give everyone in our lives permission to listen and honor themselves? This will greatly reduce the pressure, struggle and stress of living. Life will become more of a fluid and magical dance with our desire to share ourselves naturally arising from within.

The first step is listening, tuning in and discovering what you really need in the moment, and then honoring it. It's a process, but with practice, the heaviness of life will begin to life as you restore the balance and beauty to it.

Loving oneself is the only way to open the door to authentic and deep connection with others.