I recently read that when Marlon Brando was asked why he didn’t memorize his lines, he replied, “Real people don’t know what they want to say.” I relate to this because when I teach or give a presentation, it flows much better and more authentically when I don’t prepare beforehand. I can reflect on what I might like to do and have a few triggers or props handy, but the REAL stuff emerges when I get out the way completely and just let what wants to come through flow unimpeded. Amazingly, I end up learning a hell of a lot as well…it’s as if I tap into an infinite, universal well of knowledge and I become a conduit for a greater source of knowledge than I would have if I’d spent time efforting at it through research, creating outlines, and writing copious notes.

In business and in life, playing it safe only takes us so far. The real rewards and return on our investment of time comes when we stretch our capacity and take a leap of faith. Real risk requires being okay with feeling uncomfortable. We’re deliberately stepping into the unknown and it is to be expected that we will react with fear. It’s the way we’re wired.

Living life on your terms takes courage, commitment and a willingness to honor the self at the hightest level. Learning to follow your heart and speak your truth goes against the grain of the way most of us have been raised. We were asked to betray ourselves and conform at a very early age. Fitting in became more important than trusting ourselves.

During the past two plus decades of working with people, I’ve discovered many things about human behavior, but one of the most striking is how often the most creative, intelligent people get in their own way. Across the board, I have seen artists, business owners, graduate students and high-powered career people sabotage their own best efforts. It is such a common occurrence that of late, I’ve become a bit obsessed with the whole topic of self-sabotaging patterns.