Detachment

One of the ultimate paradoxes of life is that the more attached you are to the outcome of a situation (the more you want things to unfold the way YOU want them to), the more it appears to move away from you, elusively drifting just out of your grasp. I was so close, you think. I almost had it. It was almost mine. But, like a butterfly that flies away, it disappears.

By the same token, many things I’ve wanted in the past, and I mean REALLY wanted, have come to me as if drawn by a magnet when I ceased caring whether I would get them, when I wasn’t at all attached to the outcome.

This phenomenon never ceases to amaze me. In fact, lately, I’ve begun to test this out, first through plain observation and then through actually using it as a formula. Bizarre as it sounds, it actually works.

I’ve used it lately in connection with finding a place to live, in my relationships, and in my work.

Caring too much actually interferes with getting the results you want.

Not caring, on the other hand, allows you to take more risks, to be bolder in your decisions and your actions.

Clinging to another person drives them away because they feel suffocated and restricted by your needs. Clinging to a situation energetically does the same thing. It restricts it and blocks the flow. However, if you put space around a person or a situation, it allows for all kinds of possibilities to emerge.

If you want to catch a fish, throw more than one line in the water. Be okay with not catching any fish. Be open to not catching the exact fish that you want. Be ready to appreciate whatever fish you do catch. You might even end up surprised that you catch a better fish, or even more fish than you ever imagined possible. This is what keeps life interesting.

As my son once said to me, “Have no expectations, and you will always exceed them.”