Getting Out of the Way

Years ago, I read that when Marlon Brando was asked why he didn’t memorize his lines, he replied, “Real people don’t know what they want to say.” I related to this because when I teach or give a presentation, it flows much better and more authentically when I don’t prepare much beforehand. I can reflect on what I might like to do and have a few bullet points or props handy, but the real stuff emerges when I get completely out of the way and just let what wants to come through flow unimpeded. Amazingly, I end up learning a lot as well—it’s as if I tap into an infinite, universal well of knowledge and I become a conduit for a greater source of knowledge than I would have if I’d spent extensive time and effort researching, creating outlines, and writing copious notes. 

After eighteen years of teaching, this magical way of teaching showed up when I began teaching teenagers. Knowing I needed to make my classes more dynamic and exciting to capture and sustain their attention, I accidentally stumbled upon a core truth at the heart of all creativity: The less I tried to teach them or inspire them, the more I succeeded, whereas the more I tried to teach them or inspire them, the more I failed. The real, juicy, passionate fun stuff happened through me when “I” got out of the way. As soon as I put the “I” into the equation and tried to manipulate or control the outcome, my efforts flatlined and the passion got sucked dry.

My presumption that we are not the doer was confirmed by a conversation I had with an engineer around the same time I was teaching these teenagers. The engineer explained that the perception of ourselves as the doer and the originator of an idea was actually caused by a split second delay in the left side of our brain, the part that perceives the “I”. He agreed that when the “I” tries to do anything, it messes things up.

I shared this conversation in an email to my then brother in-law—an artist—and he responded by describing his experience when he paints, “When I go into a painting, you might say that I intend to be spontaneous once the brush has its first dip into the paint. When the painting is going well (here I begin to sound like Jackson Pollack) “I” have no idea of how it will go or come out. The more “I” try to intervene, the worse the result in the long run and “I” recognize it as a failure or simply as a bad result (since I’m an old hand at this). But then, I always hear the voice of Carl Sublett, one of my favorite professors, who said. “We never LOSE a painting,” which means that your spontaneity can have freedom after you re-evaluate the painting and align yourself again with your original intention. You “repaint” the painting. In other words, it seems like intention is a program of the ego and spontaneity is when one releases oneself to that “cosmic intelligence” or “great spirit”. When the two are one, then you’re on a roll.”

Releasing oneself to that cosmic intelligence or getting out of the way creates the space for magic to happen. Life becomes more of a dance that way with us as both the participant and the observer.

If you really knew that the part of you that you refer to as the “I” was really a perceptual trick and actually wasn’t deciding or controlling anything, imagine the freedom that would come from that! Imagine truly knowing that you could trust what is happening as it’s happening rather than feeling the need to control it or change it! You would be free to just experience it, to be in it without an agenda. 

This, of course, would not mean you would become completely passive or catatonic. Instead, you would simply shift from directing things to following where you were directed to go. The cool thing is that there is no one exactly like you, so what comes through you is a specific set of experiences that can only manifest through your particular form with all of its unique characteristics.

Ultimately, what this all means is that you would remember that you are not the “I”, but the life force and awareness behind the “I”. The “I” is merely there as a tool to use to gain experience. Where we get tripped up is thinking it’s who we are.

I used to think these peak experiences, spontaneity and the feeling of being in the flow was something random that just happened here and there. Now I see that this as the natural state of our being, and the best indication that we have finally gotten out of our own way.