A Life Without Walls

What does freedom really look like?

To me, freedom means there is a lot of space and room around me and my life. Lots of room to breathe and move and be flexible and spontaneous and intuitive. Lots of space for options and choices and sudden bursts of ideas.

Freedom is flow; freedom is effortless doing.

Is this pure fantasy? Or is it possible to have a life imbibed with joy and meaning?

Yes and no. It’s possible, but from where most of us are sitting, it’s not easy. In fact, true freedom goes against everything we’ve been taught and shown and told to believe. 

To be truly free means to question the very structures that make up the life we’re involved in on a daily basis—the structure of work, family, community, education, government, etc. Our very lifestyle and the decisions we habitually make are all up for grabs when it comes to shifting our perspective.

The problem is that we are terrified of not fitting in, of not conforming or adhering to the status quo. Perhaps we have stepped outside the box in one aspect of our lives; we’ve dipped a toe in the water, but when we truly question our state of being in any given moment, how many of us can truly say we are free or that our lives bring us joy and fulfillment?

Where is the passion in our relationships and our work?

Where is the wonder we felt as very young children when we are exploring the world around us?

Why were we told again and again to put away childish things?

Why were we required to suppress our natural curiosity and submit to the will of others?

This makes no sense.

From a very young age, we have been on a path of soul destruction. Told to deny our natural urges and interests, we lost touch with our inner voices. Instead, we tuned into the cacophony of signals coming in from experts and authorities who told us what to do and how to think.

Is it any wonder that the very idea of freedom is such a foreign one when what is natural and innate in us has been diverted and sabotaged by the very world we live in?

Sounds pretty bleak when looked at with such razor sharp eyes. However, there is a way to soften the blow a bit.

You can start where you are.

Examine your life and look for the small pieces of it that bring you joy, the areas where you feel the most authentic, in which you are expressing yourself without hesitation.

Take that part of your life and expand it a bit, just keep adding to it bit by bit. Kind of like remodeling an old house—sometimes it requires that you take down some walls.

What would a life without walls look like?

Personally, it is radically different from the life I have lived for most of my adult life. It is a life that first questions, and then breaks through paradigms one by one, and doesn’t stop until there is enough room to express yourself freely and fully.

Any hindrances must be looked at—and I mean ANYTHING that is standing in the way of being who you are and expressing it fully.

For many people this typically implies looking at the work they do everyday.

For others, it is a relationship. And still others, it is an overall lifestyle issue.

Finally, for some brave souls, it means looking at EVERYTHING.

Face it, we all lie to ourselves and others about who we are and what we want. We do this, and rightly so, to survive. Our society and culture expects this of us. We want to fit in and engage, so we play along.

However, there comes a point, in which these lies or walls need to come down. The time most likely for this to happen is midlife. This is when many of us come face to face with our choices and realize that they are not reflective of our innermost being. This can manifest as an existential crisis in which we make rash decisions to try and remedy the situation or make up for lost time. Our mortality looms large and there is an urgency to make things right. The ability to suppress our desires and passions wanes and instead this energy bubbles and boils in an almost volcanic turbulence below the surface begging us to finally honor our need to be authentic.

Unfortunately, our culture is not too supportive of breaking down walls. Many become frightened by the intensity of their discontent and seek professional help to quell it. For those who don’t choose that option, and depending upon how far off the mark they really are from living authentically, it can be nothing short of a complete upheaval. The level of upheaval is usually in direct proportion to the level and amount of time a person has been holding back.

I like to think of myself in an ever expanding process of walking the talk. To whatever degree my life doesn’t reflect my values and the ideas I put out to others, then I’m a hypocrite. In the areas of my life where that inconsistency exists, then I need to remain silent.

My words are empty and meaningless, unless I am demonstrating them by embodying them and living them. This sounds harsh, I know, but without this standard then there is no place for me to go. Authenticity and freedom, and especially joy, are the mile markers that let me know I’m on the right track, and that I am honoring my soul and its gifts.

The best part is that none of this is the means to an end.

The journey itself is what’s so profoundly beautiful about being alive.

Having an epiphany, a breakthrough, a shift in perspective is part of the fun of being here.

We never know what’s around the next corner. I just want to make sure my view isn’t blocked by some poorly erected wall.

Eventually, I would like to think I won’t need any walls at all to feel safe.

In the meantime, the fresh air is feeling pretty good.