Being Okay with Not Knowing

The past year was full of BIG changes, both internally and externally. As we approach the end of 2019, my mood, energy and intuition are conspiring to present me with new options, new choices and new directions. Oddly enough, the details are still quite fuzzy. I have a sense of what I'd like to occur, but I'm never sure if my preferences will hold or something better will come in to sweep me into its arms.

All I can really do is accept what is, as it is, right now. Not knowing is a familiar place for me. It keeps me focused on the present. Living as a nomad for three years (2013-2016) taught me the difference between planning in the mind and following my heart. Planning in the mind is usually based on assumptions, expectations, past experiences and a strong desire to control the outcome. Whereas following my heart means listening to the Divine Inner Voice within and trusting that to guide me. Right now, my heart is telling me to be still, appreciate what's right in front of me because very soon, my life will look and feel nothing like it does now.

How often do we get the luxury of that kind of head's up? 

Not often enough.

It's tough when life broadsides us without any notice, forcing us to let to before we feel ready—that happened to me twice in the past year with my mother’s sudden death and an unexpected move. Thankfully, in my current situation,  my life is much calmer which means that instead of dramatic abrupt changes, I’m receiving lots of intuitive nudges. For example, I now know when a situation, relationship or even physical item no longer fits or serves me (or the Highest Good).

Certain aspects of our lives have an expiration date. This makes is so much easier to loosen our grip, let it go and make space for what’s next, and for what fits and serves us and ultimately the Highest Good.

Back to not knowing.

In my experience, when an intuition first comes through, it can come through as just a sense, a feeling, or an abstract vision rather than a clear, concise message. While this can be frustrating, it's all part of the non-linear, non-verbal language of the heart and soul. Forcing clarity never works. Rushing a decision can backfire and waste huge amounts of time.

Better to trust and keep listening.

I've learned this lesson the hard way. For most of my life, I liked to micro-manage, control and plan things full on. I liked to know what to expect. I liked feeling safe.

Ha! Life doesn't work that way, especially an intuitive-driven life.

These days, I prefer to place each day completely in the hands of the Divine. This keeps me more present and in the flow with life. It also allows me to truly acknowledge and appreciate the blessings that surround me.

Perspective is everything.

Sure, there are challenges. However, I now know that I don’t have to meet those challenges alone. I feel supported, guided, loved and blessed. Most of what I was stressed about in the past was based on false beliefs and fears that I would lose something I have or not get something I wanted.

My desire to control was an old habit I picked up because I believed it kept me safe. I’m finding that what once kept me safe, now severely limits me.

Thus, I am in the midst of releasing many decisions I made in the past that were based on these old beliefs and fears. It is SO freeing!

I’m also learning to get comfortable with not knowing.

Now I ask myself, “What opportunities are out there that are new, fresh, restorative, inspiring and soul affirming?

Rather than try to script it out or design it, I'm staying open and waiting for more to be revealed. Life knows what’s in my heart; it knows what will serve the Highest Good. Now it's a matter of the timing being right for clarity to appear and action to follow.

This is the mystery I'm stepping into now.

Joy and blessings to all of you who are sitting in the midst of a transition with more questions than answers. You are not alone!